The girls and I took a whirlwind trip to Napa this weekend. My dad's side of the family was meeting there to lay Grandma Johnson to rest and celebrate her life. It feels like my life is so full right now that I have to be on guard and have not really had the chance to grieve. It was so good to be around family, to realize again from where I came. I definitely feel a part of that family.
Grandma was truly a gift to me. She thought that I (and my sisters) were amazing, "exceptional." She gave us so much fun and memories. She was very active and strong. She cared deeply about people and worried more than anyone I ever knew. Even as a parent myself, she would tell me not to drive at night, etc., etc. A smile comes to my face when I think of her...she didn't exhibit anger or distaste. We saw her happy. It's pretty refreshing!
So there I sat at her graveside service watching my dad cover her ashes over, as my little one cried for food. I feel it was very apt that I nursed and gave life to my baby at this somber time of death. Grandma was perhaps the most real about motherhood. She remembered vividly being very nauseous with each of her pregnancies and I am so glad I had her to empathize with through mine. She clearly remembered real parts of how hard it is to have toddlers, babies, and love doing it anyway.
It does remind me of how fleeting this life is, and give me pause to talk and pray with my children about the One who holds the future. It is also incredible to see that each time there is death, there is new life that comes with it. Truly a gift to remind me that life is so extremely precious.
1 comment:
That was so beautifully put, Sarah. It sounds like your Grandma was an incredible woman. I'm glad you were able to be there.
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