Thoughts

I was on such a roll with blogging, but somehow I had overload the last month...can't imagine why. This random picture illustrates what I feel - everyone with different things going on everywhere I turn. To boot, Maggie likes to hold on and stand up, usually wherever I am, so I feel like I am dragging her along as I go...and I have a splint on my thumb due to a Pump It Up injury. Almost every day Brandon says "4 kids is a lot." It's true. People told me 4 wouldn't seem anymore than 3, but I guess I don't have as much energy as they do. Anyways, I do have a few minutes each day to myself, and I check what is going on with other people but rarely have the energy to post about us. Enough excuses...I'm back on the horse.

Time to turn over a new leaf and take control of some things. Even though "resolutions" are easily broken, I am always thankful for an opportunity to start new. If one of the things I am resolving to do, or not to do sticks, it's been worthwhile thinking about it and doing it. Some of the things I am "committing" to at the start of this year are: getting out of my house more and seeing more people; finding a good Bible study to be a part of that works as far as time and content go; sewing and doing things that I enjoy more. I also plan to get back into teaching classes and doula-ing more. Also, I am going to be eating less, being in my house less...there's probably more or less. I am going to be posting some more pix soon, and posting my "Christmas" letter on here soon, so stay tuned. I have been thinking of this hymn a lot recently. We sang it at our new year's eve service we went to every year in England, and thought I would share it here: 

Standing at the portal of the opening year,

Words of comfort meet us, hushing every fear;

Spoken through the silence by our Father's voice,

Tender, strong and faithful, making us rejoice.

Onward then and fear not, children of the day!

For His word shall never, never pass away!

I, the Lord amd with thee, be thou not afraid,

I will help and strengthen, be thou not dismayed!

Yea, I will uphold thee, with My own right hand, 

Thou art called and chosen in My sight to stand.

For the year before us, O what rich supplies!

For the poor and needy living streams shall rise;

For the sad and sinful shall His greace abound;

For the faint and feeble, perfect strength be found.

He will never fail us, He will not forsake;

His eternal covenant He will never break.

Resting on His promise, what have we to fear? 

God is all sufficient for the coming year. 

More autumn leaves

Autumn leaves

I love the fall time. This whole time I have been meaning to get pictures of the kids playing in the leaves...but finding the time and help to accomplish that has been difficult. I had an hour to myself last night - imagine...alone in the house...and decided to take control of a few things. On my early morning walk in the fog this morning (again alone, believe it or not) I found the perfect set of leaves just round the corner from our house. So, we did it! I love how they turned out too. Happy November! 

Thanksgiving

Jesse's third birthday fell on Thanksgiving this year, so it feels like we celebrated double time. I finally got a nap today. It will probably be another 6 months before I have another nap. Anywho, we had fun...we had family...we have tons to be thankful for. We actually still have our third installment of Jesse's birthday/Thanksgiving to look forward to on Monday, but in the mean time here are a few pictures of our adventures. Monday - his birthday party with friends at Oso de Oro; Wednesday - Thanksgiving/Birthday at Grammy's; Thursday; is THE day: to the zoo with family and on to Uncle Wes and Auntie Karen's for dinner and presents. If you have never tried it, the zoo on Thanksgiving is fun. There was that wonderful crispness in the air that only a holiday brings and very few people. The animals were very active and the walk made for a good appetite for dinner! 

Moving forward!

One of my least favorite stages of a baby's life is crawling backward. I know, it's foundational and important, but it is frustrating for me to watch. Who wants to go backwards. I am not a big fan of moving backwards. Maggie has been crawling backwards for a few weeks (although it seemed like years) and is now finally moving forwards. She "army crawls" mostly, but is taking 3 or 4 crawls forward on her hands and knees! She can also sit back up from crawling and has been practicing that for a while. Yeay! This is much earlier than any of the other kids; she is very focused and determined. We had a couple days of terrible sleep...but are back to being much happier in that area too. Our life is moving forward. It's especially fun this time because we are not going to be going back to the start in less than 2 years and do the dance all over again. We are all growing up, even me! I can look back and see how I was at this stage with each of the other children and see how much I have changed. I am relishing the new-ness of being "done" with the baby stage and not having to dread it. I do know, however, that there will be new challenges along the way...different ones. We are moving forward.

Speaking of moving forward, Jesse and Abbey are in a new phase of being best buddies. They are sharing a room right now, and have been for a year or so. Recently they have started to disappear into their room at any opportunity and play with "Little People" and Barbies, make clubhouses, and all assundry of other schemes I am sure. Last night they wanted to sleep on the floor together. I had my doubts, but they did fall asleep. I snuck in and took a picture. They are so cute. I'm guessing this won't last too long, but it is so cute to see such a team right now! 

Thanksgiving Break

I am so thankful for a break. It used to be that I didn't like breaks from school because everyone was home. Now, it's the reverse.  A break for them is a break for me. Yippee! I started my vacation by reading a whole book last night. It was a "fluffy" fiction book - Twenty Wishes. It did inspire me to maybe make my own Twenty Wishes list.  Today I am planning on making a CD of Thanksgiving/Harvest hymns that I remember from my childhood to play this week. Music was very important for me growing up, and I am determined to expose my kids to all kinds of music. I also plan on starting and completing Christmas shopping/making this week. Probably a little bit of a dream, but that's what I am aiming for. Monday is Jesse's birthday party - so I have some preparing for that, though it will be VERY low key. We are really looking forward to spending time as a family this week, and seeing more family. Jesse's birthday is on Thanksgiving day. We have a lot to be thankful for, including this break! 

More pictures

All Saints Day

Otherwise known as Halloween...here are a couple of pictures from the day. I kind of dreaded the day because there was so much going on. We did end up scaling back at night; just relaxing and doing a small amount of trick-or-treating around our neighborhood. It was a fun day in the end. Just a little frantic going from getting Maggie down for her nap, to Abbey's class, to Jesse's parade and then to lunch and then back to get Maggie down for her nap again. I am SOOOO going to love the freedom that comes with 1 nap! Anyways, here's some cute pix from over the month that they wore their costumes to different events! 

Reminiscing..

Ever since Maggie was born, I seem to be reminiscing about my own childhood. Maybe it's that Susannah is old enough that I remember myself at her age. Also, I think it's because I have recently got back in touch with some friends from school in England. I spent all my formative years there, so there are many memories. Brandon grew up in Fresno and gets to see the house(s) he grew up in etc. etc. whenever. I have begun to feel more sentimental that I have almost completely lost touch with that part of my life. Also recently, I have started to want to cook better. I love all the different flavors and varieties, ethnicities of food. My sister mentioned that she had found a recipe for Cheese and Potato Pasties like we used to have in England. My ears pricked up big time. Even better than that she said they tasted a lot like the Cheese and Potato Pie that was my favorite food EVER when I was a child. For a special treat we went to the cafe that was opposite the bus station in Harrogate. And I ALWAYS had the same thing. So, in an effort to reconnect with my past I experimented with making one. It was pretty good. It seemed weird to be eating it in the middle of California, in a house with children of my own. However, it was good. I will be doing this more. Nothing much to look at, but many memories involved!

Life and Death

The girls and I took a whirlwind trip to Napa this weekend. My dad's side of the family was meeting there to lay Grandma Johnson to rest and celebrate her life. It feels like my life is so full right now that I have to be on guard and have not really had the chance to grieve. It was so good to be around family, to realize again from where I came. I definitely feel a part of that family. 

Grandma was truly a gift to me. She thought that I (and my sisters) were amazing, "exceptional." She gave us so much fun and memories. She was very active and strong. She cared deeply about people and worried more than anyone I ever knew. Even as a parent myself, she would tell me not to drive at night, etc., etc. A smile comes to my face when I think of her...she didn't exhibit anger or distaste. We saw her happy. It's pretty refreshing! 

So there I sat at her graveside service watching my dad cover her ashes over, as my little one cried for food. I feel it was very apt that I nursed and gave life to my baby at this somber time of death. Grandma was perhaps the most real about motherhood. She remembered vividly being very nauseous with each of her pregnancies and I am so glad I had her to empathize with through mine. She clearly remembered real parts of how hard it is to have toddlers, babies, and love doing it anyway. 

It does remind me of how fleeting this life is, and give me pause to talk and pray with my children about the One who holds the future. It is also incredible to see that each time there is death, there is new life that comes with it. Truly a gift to remind me that life is so extremely precious.

How full can each day be?

I am so tired. It's 10 pm and I should be in bed, but I am relishing the peace in my house. Everyone is asleep and peace prevails. I want peace to prevail all of the time, and I really do limit our activities. However, the last few days have been bone-tiring full. From one event to the next...or just one event to home. It doesn't seem to matter. My house is tired even. There are crayons, pillows, backpacks, baby toys, furniture strewn all over the living room floor as I type...and I am not even going to do anything about it. I could tell you the story of why each thing is where it is, but I am just going to rest in the fact that my life is full to the brim, and I am blessed. I have 5 people to love and who love me resting peacefully, contented for now, resting up for what tomorrow shall bring. What will tomorrow be like? Will Maggie get her naps? Will we get up in time to get to school on time? Will Brandon feel better? Will I figure out how to get Susannah and Abbey to 2 different places at the same time? Will there be a pee accident at preschool...will he be scared of the fire engine? Only One knows the answer to these questions. But I will go to bed (really) tired, but thankful and blessed.

One-on-two

Abbey, Maggie and I took a trip last weekend to go to Abbey's friends birthday party in Sacramento. It was a good excuse to have some really good quality time with Abbey. I feel like she has a tendency to get lost in the shuffle as she is not as loud and demanding as some of the other kids! It was truly a delight to spend a low key weekend with her (and Maggie!) We met our friends at a local plant nursery where they were doing a "Bulb-fest" for kids. We stayed with Brandon's aunt, and were able to stay in bed and read books together in the morning and had breakfast brought to us. We took a trip to a REAL pumpkin patch where you pull your own pumpkin off the vine, watch pig races, and of course eat yummy caramel apples! The weekend concluded with the birthday party and a late night trip home in time for school in the morning. Although there seems to be so much to do when coming back from a trip like that, I felt refreshed and rejuvenated and reconnected with my second-born. 

THFP!

Thank Heavens For Preschool!

I was very undecided about whether to send Jesse to preschool this fall. However, one bad Monday later, I dialed my helpline - teacher Bev at Nosworthy's Nursery School. Abbey spent one idyllic semester there last year, and it turns out Jesse followed right along in her footsteps. He loves it in a big way - it seems like he's been there forever already. It's the nicest place to be, and the teachers are wonderful. The kids have opportunity to explore and do a lot of different things in their time there. Best of all, there is no academic pressure...they learn so much without even realizing it. There are so many families of diverse origins and backgrounds. It is always interesting to talk to parents there. Many of the children are being raised bilingually and happen to end up there, so we fit right in! After Abbey started there last semester, I mentioned it to my mother-in-law, and it turns out that Brandon went there when he was a 2/3 year old. If you are in need of a preschool...check it out, it's wonderful. I just re-read what I wrote, and it sounds a little like an advertisement...I can assure you it's not. I've just been thinking about how great it's been for our family! 

Susannah's birthday continued

I can't believe it's been seven years since I crossed over the threshold into the wonderful world of parenting. I never knew how much I could be changed by seemingly powerless little people. Susannah changed me the most in that she did the hard work of metamorphisizing me all in one go. She had the work of physically being born first: the birth was more difficult; I had no clue about babies cues etc. etc. It continues: she ploughs the way for the others. I have to figure out what I think about all the things that she faces first. I have a bit of a clue by the time the others get there...

At seven, Susannah is very driven, yet equally nurturing; frustrating, and fun. She likes anything to do with school, and tutors her younger siblings. She loves her school friends and what they are doing, but has her distinct style without regard for others styles. Susannah loves to eat carbs and sweets of any kind. She loves to go for walks, go on trips, learn about new things and people. She likes to draw, and do crafts. She wants to be a doctor when she grows up, and wants to speak at least 3 languages. She is mastering Spanish and revels in learning more. Finally, Susannah loves her younger siblings intensely - I mean, INTENSELY! She likes nothing better than to snuggle with her baby sister and hold her and walk around with her. Happy Birthday Susannah - we love you so much and can't wait to see what God holds for your future.

Update: Pic1&2: Birthday girl with Daddy and Mama: Pic3 Susannah as Mary on Awana Bible Character night. Pic4: Susannah has recently had braces put on her front four teeth, and has also started to get her hair in a ponytail.

Book club anyone?

I know, I know, no one has time to read books anymore. But I "have" to. I love nothing more than escaping to someone else's world, with no noise added. But it's always so sad when it ends because then I wonder where and when I am going to find my next escape. My sister goes to a book club where they all read their own books and then tell about them each month. She gets some great ideas for her next great read based on what other people have read. Anyone up for this kind of set up? We could even do it online...but would love to find some to meet with (in Fresno!) once a month for this. There has to be some more "closet readers" out there!

Birth-day Party Pix