This Season

"You can't amputate your history from your destiny."  Beth Moore

The middle of winter is hard for me...although California is rich in sunshine, the cold and relative darkness make me a little under the weather. Add to that, Maggie is having a hard time sleeping, and my life continues at a frenetic pace to keep up with what color plate everyone wants and the next installment of the fight to sit next to the baby in the car. I'm worn out. I bite off more than I can chew everyday. I used to feel like I could get a lot done. I can't. Just like I surrendered to birth my babies, I feel I need to surrender to my season anew everyday. There are moments though, that remind me what an honor and a privilege being the mother of 4 little ones is. Abbey learned to ride her bike; Maggie's finding her voice; Susannah's falling asleep with her nose in a book; Jesse's doing tricks. Watching our new president be inaugurated was a moment in history too. It gave me goosebumps. I love watching history in the making. While I have this season of surrender, my kids are starting down their road of life. What a journey it is...and I have a ringside seat. 

Braces off!

Susannah endured her time in train tracks with grace. She has always had such a beautiful smile. Now look at her, my beautiful big girl!

Time away

We were planning on having a beach getaway this week, but last week Maggie started sleeping terribly. The thought of all 6 of us in a motorhome with a terribly-sleeping-baby was enough to make me vomit...yuck. So I decided that I could stay with Mag, and Brandon could take the older kids. That's what happened. It was pretty exciting. I missed seeing them at the beach, and having family time, but what I got instead was priceless! I got to be a mama-of-1-baby. It definitely wasn't complete freedom, but it was as close as I am going to get. I did all kinds of things that I wouldn't have ever dreamed would be classified as "fun" - but they were. I sorted clothes, got rid of infant gadgets, washed the bathroom floors, scrubbed the bathrooms and kitchen, moved some furniture, did some paperwork and made some phonecalls. Funny, some long lost friends called during this time, and it was lovely to be able to talk without an update on how long I had been on the phone. I did watch a chick flick, and have dinner with friends too. The list goes on. I remember being the mom of 1 baby and being totally overwhelmed. But for these few days, I had time and space to think. I feel like I exist in my own head again. For the record, the kids had a great time at the beach, and Jesse came back without his attitude, and with a new found desire to stand to pee.  My husband really is amazing, I decided again. He didn't come back stressed at all after 2 nights in a motorhome with 3 kids. I would have been. For sure. So, back to real life we go. I filled up my gas tank tonight.