I have been feeling more and more overwhelmed with my family. Maggie has been a sheer delight. Since the onset of her 6th month (4 days ago) she has started to be much more fussy. The dreaded teeth are coming, and she senses that there is more to life than mama and her where her next meal is coming from (it's sucked from the same source every time). When the baby is fussy, it seems that everyone else is more needy. I feel myself getting sucked in by a pit of guilt. Guilt for letting the kids watch more TV or play on the computer, guilt for not getting a full meal on the table, of course the list goes on. I am not usually a "guilt-y" type, but when it comes to the baby...guilt seems to accompany. Also in this phase I start feeling like i am not me. I don't have the time, energy or space to do the things that I enjoy doing...playing tennis, sewing, organizing pictures (or maybe even putting them in a album, God forbid!) I feel like I am so one dimensional
With all this in mind...I choose to ride the wave, to not get sucked into the guilt-pit, and instead know that we will not be tied to naps forever, that Maggie will one day be a functioning member of our family, and that I will be too. The kids will not be scarred by an over abundance of TV for a few days in Maggie's fussy phases. That we will all be ok. If you see me...remind me. I might forget to choose this tomorrow!
4 comments:
Sarah, Laura sent me the link to your blog. I love it! Your kids are adorable and I can relate to your "guilt" even though I try not fall into that, too.
Oh Sarah, I have totally been there too! It's a very isolating feeling, but one I think most women understand. Your honesty is refreshing and I look forward to keeping up with your blog (and hopefully you, let's do coffee sometime soon). Miss you!
Sarah - I saw your comment on my blog and I do remember you - I remember scrapbooking at your house and Laura reminded me you were into homebirth, too! So I decided to come here and check out your blog - your kids are adorable! Nice to see you!
Timothy's asleep and I'm sitting here in my PJ's, wondering what to do next... the dishes? A shower? Play with Toby? All the other things??? (and so I end up checking blogs... avoiding the decision for a few more minutes!) Well, if nothing else, at least I'm not alone!!!!! : )
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