Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Flashbacks and Walking






This time last year I was a week and a bit overdue with my fourth child. It was such a tenuous existence. It was bone-jarringly emotional, physically exhausting and generally not fun to wait. I feel like I am reliving it as I wait for Maggie's 1st birthday. Amazing the things that come back. Every time I write the date I remember that day last year; hoping, praying, pleading that God would have mercy and let me birth this child. As I wait for her birthday this year, I remember all the people who reminded me last year to cherish this time of being pregnant for the last time. I couldn't bring myself to do it much. This year is similar in that sense. I love to watch my children get bigger, gain independence, learn to sleep, learn to read etc. Maggie has been in a not-so-good-sleep phase. I want to be done with sleep issues. But, she is learning to walk. I am trying, in my very-impatient way to cherish this time. The last time I will watch the wobbly, Frankenstein attempts at walking. It's so entertaining to watch. She is SOOOO pleased with herself, I can't help but try to find something to be sooo pleased about with myself. I love it. I love the gleam and glimmer in her eye as she makes it. I'll make it. I'll probably never be fully content, but I will try and cherish.

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