The Beach

I must have realized that it was a "break," because I have been falling apart in different ways. One sure way to get things in perspective for me is to drive away. It doesn't even need to be far, but out of the city is best! The beach really is my happy place, but it's not all that happy to get one hotel room for the 6 of us. Never ends up being very relaxing. So we solved the problem by going for the day. It was such a great day. The beach was a little overcast, but sunny. The kids played and explored and were fascinated with all kinds of big and little things. I layed on the blanket, took walks with the kids to the tide pools and generally let go. It was lovely to have a day away from all the "should-do's" at home. Really, we need to do this more often. 

More pictures

going down the path...
eating area in the kitchen
two of my favorite people...
...the green pool!
the back of the house from the east

Moving Pictures

from the master bedroom into the back
master bath/closet area
bath tub in the kids bathroom
french doors in the livingroom into the back
hallway cabinets
the east end of the "study" area
looking from the entry way into the kitchen and "study"
the cabinets in the living room
looking from the middle of the living room into the entry

the entry way

our family in the front courtyard
from the front
looking down the street to the west
looking down the street to the east
the big girls in the front courtyard

wisdom for the day

I don't regularly frequent coffee joints, but enjoy some hot chocolate now and again. Today, I noticed "the way I see it" on the cup and had to share. I love it.

"The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyrrany of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life."

How apt the advice is for so many areas of life. I find the kids can sense when I haven't "committed" to whatever I am saying. I am saying it but they can sense I am still internally arguing with myself. Mostly, I am posting it on here so I don't have to keep a moldy cup or keep track of a little piece of paper, but I hope you can glean something from it too. 

Magdelena Clare

My sweet baby girl is almost 11 months. She is becoming a person in her own right, and I am celebrating that! Maggie stands on her own now, and is taking a couple steps, if given the right incentives. She is learning to balance and squats and stands back up. This is preciously early for my family genes, and I am very thankful for such a gift! She weighs around 23 pounds and is growing out of her 12-18 month clothes by her length. Maggie does not communicate much yet, besides "mama" but we all seem to know what she wants. She loves the cats, her siblings, splashing in the bath, emptying things, pulling the shoes off the shoe rack, bending the flaps on books, her Music Together class, crawling in the street, going down stairs headfirst and many other endeavours that should not be publicized. We felt very prompted that her name should be Magdelena. It means "protected" and now we know why! We also know she is part of our family because she loves to eat, loves having bare feet, loves playing outside, hates to be tied down (ie. put in clothes or her car seat.) Magdelena smiles at everyone and is now showing off her 4 teeth that she just sprouted. She continues to sleep pretty well...for another mercy, I am thankful.

It has been a full year for me. Daunting, yet full and good; overwhelming yet growth inducing. She was not anticipated, but we can see the completeness she brings. Now and again I get a twinge of sadness that the baby stage is gone forever especially when I see a new baby stretch it's neck like a turtle, but I can honestly say that I am thankful to be able to "move on" (whatever that means!) God has richly blessed me. As the curtain on Magdelena's first year comes down, and the book of my twenties is nearly closed, I am thankful to know that God has it all worked out. 

Nothing deep.

This seems to be the season of nothing deep. I have actually been thinking about a lot of things that are quite "deep," but am having a hard time putting it all into words. So, here goes with my update as it is! We put in an offer on a house that would be PERFECT for our family, but have not heard anything and I am actually not very hopeful about it. Time will tell, and I am feeling very peaceful about it. I got the opportunity to go hear Lisa Whelchel speak this past weekend. It was wonderful to sit for 3+ hours, although the first hour was hard as I am not a good "sitter" anymore. I was inspired in my faith and journey, and am implementing some little improvements in my household. One thing is intentional time learning with the kids after school. It is my tiredest time of the day, but I am convinced that it is good. I used to designate it as my rest time, but I am trying to rest before they come home, and choose a book or quiet activity when they get home. So far, so good. I have actually really enjoyed it. On some level it is more surrender, but like all the other kinds of surrender; I can sense the fertile-ness of the time. My Bible Study on Esther has been choc-ful of amazing depth. Too much to fully digest, but I am loving it and am sad it is almost over. I have learned so much and am seeing ways that I am being changed as a result. I am also reading a book called "Too Small to Ignore," written by the CEO of Compassion International. It is very interesting and I am looking forward to curling up with it later tonight. My "daily walks" are not quite daily, but I am enjoying them in the glow of spring. I am varying where I walk and what I listen to, ie. sometimes myself and God, sometimes music. It helps to keep going and interested. The time change is making it hard to get up in the mornings, but I know we will adjust in due time. I have a number of sewing projects on the go. Too many. I love doing it but it makes me frustrated when I don't have time to achieve my goals on them. Sometimes it's better to have nothing extra, but then, it is boring to have nothing to escape to, since I gave up TV for lent. I have been teaching birth classes and will teach another "Preparing for Homebirth" class this weekend. It is also a fun distraction...This time of year has been very interesting for me. I sooo remember being nine months pregnant this time last year. I was on the home stretch of my 5th pregnancy. My allergies come up in March, clocks changing, thinking about Easter, helping mothers prepare for their births, it all reminds me of preparing to meet Magdelena. And here I am, on the otherside of it, waiting for her to walk, seeing the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel of no sleep etc. Time is a strange thing. I feel like the markers that I have are useful in my journey. They show where I came from and where I am going. I am hopeful. 

Life

Not much new going on here. Feels like we have some things in the works but the perfect timing has not come. I did get to go to my first "birth" since Maggie was born. Can't wait to start really moving in that direction once Maggie is old enough. Such a satisfying experience to learn new things each time and support a family as they move through such a surreal time of awe and growth. We are investigating finding a bigger house. 1400 square feet feels mighty small nowadays, and if there is anyone extra in the house, it makes me want to run away (not from my friends, but from the claustrophobia!) Of course, not a a straightforward process. It never is. I have been sewing some and loving it. I am also reading from time to time. I really get hooked if I start though, so it is slightly dangerous. The kids are...kids. Maggie is working on standing up without holding on. Susannah is watching her progress carefully, and keeps a chart of Maggie's  development on her bedroom wall. Probably because she thinks I am not. Surprisingly, I am. Jesse is charming his way into his sister's lives. The charm doesn't work so well with me though. I am pretty tired of it. This 3 year old likes to sneak and find his sister's Nintendo DS - he is amazingly good at both finding it and playing it. Did not get that ability from me. That is for certain. Abbey is reading pretty well now. She is definitely still easy going, but has developed a few habits, both emotionally and physically. Won't embarass her here, but suffice it to say, I'd be happy to say goodbye to them. Susannah loves her Upward basketball, and seems to be pretty happy in general. She loves anything to do with Maggie, and nothing to do with her chores. She also likes inviting her siblings for sleepovers in her room. Fun times, and no sleep is had by all. Myself included. Ok - here are a few photos from my "shoot" the other day...guess I wanted to update everyone. Good night!