Life and Death

The girls and I took a whirlwind trip to Napa this weekend. My dad's side of the family was meeting there to lay Grandma Johnson to rest and celebrate her life. It feels like my life is so full right now that I have to be on guard and have not really had the chance to grieve. It was so good to be around family, to realize again from where I came. I definitely feel a part of that family. 

Grandma was truly a gift to me. She thought that I (and my sisters) were amazing, "exceptional." She gave us so much fun and memories. She was very active and strong. She cared deeply about people and worried more than anyone I ever knew. Even as a parent myself, she would tell me not to drive at night, etc., etc. A smile comes to my face when I think of her...she didn't exhibit anger or distaste. We saw her happy. It's pretty refreshing! 

So there I sat at her graveside service watching my dad cover her ashes over, as my little one cried for food. I feel it was very apt that I nursed and gave life to my baby at this somber time of death. Grandma was perhaps the most real about motherhood. She remembered vividly being very nauseous with each of her pregnancies and I am so glad I had her to empathize with through mine. She clearly remembered real parts of how hard it is to have toddlers, babies, and love doing it anyway. 

It does remind me of how fleeting this life is, and give me pause to talk and pray with my children about the One who holds the future. It is also incredible to see that each time there is death, there is new life that comes with it. Truly a gift to remind me that life is so extremely precious.

How full can each day be?

I am so tired. It's 10 pm and I should be in bed, but I am relishing the peace in my house. Everyone is asleep and peace prevails. I want peace to prevail all of the time, and I really do limit our activities. However, the last few days have been bone-tiring full. From one event to the next...or just one event to home. It doesn't seem to matter. My house is tired even. There are crayons, pillows, backpacks, baby toys, furniture strewn all over the living room floor as I type...and I am not even going to do anything about it. I could tell you the story of why each thing is where it is, but I am just going to rest in the fact that my life is full to the brim, and I am blessed. I have 5 people to love and who love me resting peacefully, contented for now, resting up for what tomorrow shall bring. What will tomorrow be like? Will Maggie get her naps? Will we get up in time to get to school on time? Will Brandon feel better? Will I figure out how to get Susannah and Abbey to 2 different places at the same time? Will there be a pee accident at preschool...will he be scared of the fire engine? Only One knows the answer to these questions. But I will go to bed (really) tired, but thankful and blessed.

One-on-two

Abbey, Maggie and I took a trip last weekend to go to Abbey's friends birthday party in Sacramento. It was a good excuse to have some really good quality time with Abbey. I feel like she has a tendency to get lost in the shuffle as she is not as loud and demanding as some of the other kids! It was truly a delight to spend a low key weekend with her (and Maggie!) We met our friends at a local plant nursery where they were doing a "Bulb-fest" for kids. We stayed with Brandon's aunt, and were able to stay in bed and read books together in the morning and had breakfast brought to us. We took a trip to a REAL pumpkin patch where you pull your own pumpkin off the vine, watch pig races, and of course eat yummy caramel apples! The weekend concluded with the birthday party and a late night trip home in time for school in the morning. Although there seems to be so much to do when coming back from a trip like that, I felt refreshed and rejuvenated and reconnected with my second-born. 

THFP!

Thank Heavens For Preschool!

I was very undecided about whether to send Jesse to preschool this fall. However, one bad Monday later, I dialed my helpline - teacher Bev at Nosworthy's Nursery School. Abbey spent one idyllic semester there last year, and it turns out Jesse followed right along in her footsteps. He loves it in a big way - it seems like he's been there forever already. It's the nicest place to be, and the teachers are wonderful. The kids have opportunity to explore and do a lot of different things in their time there. Best of all, there is no academic pressure...they learn so much without even realizing it. There are so many families of diverse origins and backgrounds. It is always interesting to talk to parents there. Many of the children are being raised bilingually and happen to end up there, so we fit right in! After Abbey started there last semester, I mentioned it to my mother-in-law, and it turns out that Brandon went there when he was a 2/3 year old. If you are in need of a preschool...check it out, it's wonderful. I just re-read what I wrote, and it sounds a little like an advertisement...I can assure you it's not. I've just been thinking about how great it's been for our family! 

Susannah's birthday continued

I can't believe it's been seven years since I crossed over the threshold into the wonderful world of parenting. I never knew how much I could be changed by seemingly powerless little people. Susannah changed me the most in that she did the hard work of metamorphisizing me all in one go. She had the work of physically being born first: the birth was more difficult; I had no clue about babies cues etc. etc. It continues: she ploughs the way for the others. I have to figure out what I think about all the things that she faces first. I have a bit of a clue by the time the others get there...

At seven, Susannah is very driven, yet equally nurturing; frustrating, and fun. She likes anything to do with school, and tutors her younger siblings. She loves her school friends and what they are doing, but has her distinct style without regard for others styles. Susannah loves to eat carbs and sweets of any kind. She loves to go for walks, go on trips, learn about new things and people. She likes to draw, and do crafts. She wants to be a doctor when she grows up, and wants to speak at least 3 languages. She is mastering Spanish and revels in learning more. Finally, Susannah loves her younger siblings intensely - I mean, INTENSELY! She likes nothing better than to snuggle with her baby sister and hold her and walk around with her. Happy Birthday Susannah - we love you so much and can't wait to see what God holds for your future.

Update: Pic1&2: Birthday girl with Daddy and Mama: Pic3 Susannah as Mary on Awana Bible Character night. Pic4: Susannah has recently had braces put on her front four teeth, and has also started to get her hair in a ponytail.

Book club anyone?

I know, I know, no one has time to read books anymore. But I "have" to. I love nothing more than escaping to someone else's world, with no noise added. But it's always so sad when it ends because then I wonder where and when I am going to find my next escape. My sister goes to a book club where they all read their own books and then tell about them each month. She gets some great ideas for her next great read based on what other people have read. Anyone up for this kind of set up? We could even do it online...but would love to find some to meet with (in Fresno!) once a month for this. There has to be some more "closet readers" out there!

Birth-day Party Pix

Birth-day Party

Yesterday was Susannah's birthday party. She invited 7 friends, all but one from school, and we went out for dinner to BJ's. She wanted to go there because of the scrumptious "Pazookie" that she would get for dessert. It was very fun to see what a grown up young lady she is becoming and what a good time a group of girls could have together. I apologize to anyone that happened to be in the vicinity when the sugar ingested at dinner gave way to giggles that really could pierce eardrums. Outside the restaurant, over in the water play area, in the cars on the way back to our house, and into the house the giggles and screams of glee continued. The plan was to watch a movie when they got back, but really it was a "GiggleFest." A great time was had by all the girls it seemed. Two parties down, 1 to go! 

They are all so different!

I know, everyone tells you when you have more than one child that they are all so different. Sometimes though it just really hits me how different they all are. I know if I had more (God forbid), they would still be different again. God is so amazing. It seems with every new child, you have to eat a few more words as well. Each of my children has had a comfort tool - the oldest: thumby, next in line: paci, boy: deet (looks awfully like a horsey to the untrained eye) and new baby: two fingers. It was bad enough that my five year old going to kinder still asks for her paci. But now I have a "finger" child. I never was a big fan of the finger-sucking-look. But I know enough as a mother to embrace whatever makes a baby happy - within reason! So, I am taking a deep breath and enjoying looking at such a cute face. Who couldn't love that face!

When everything is crazy...

...I seem to start a project. I think it's coming to the realization that I can't control much, so I want to control something. Sometimes it's sorting out outgrown clothes, or cleaning a closet, or organizing the shelves in the garage. Sometimes though it has something fun to show for it. We recently created a makeshift fourth bedroom in our 3-bedroom- 1400-square-foot house. So now Maggie has her own room (and so does Susannah). I am finally getting to decorate a "baby" room again. This was the name sign I made out of cardboard for over her crib.